Saturday, December 24, 2011

Christmas Feather

Got my Christmas Feather this morning...

Sunday, December 18, 2011

Marry Christmas Alice Ruedy

Marry Christmas Alice Ruedy is a Hub I wrote based on an experience I had recently in an antique store.  On the right here is Alice Ruedy.  In this Hub, I will tell you how Alice and I met.  This story, to say this least is quite fitting for this blog as we explore our connection with the other side.  I know my Mother smiled big on this one...  give the story a gander and see if it doesn't make you smile as well.

Oh, and Merry Christmas!

Sunday, November 6, 2011

Steve Jobs Last Words On Earth

"Oh Wow, Oh Wow, Oh Wow."

These are the final words of Steve Jobs.  Craig Brown at Mail on line called it clever.  I'm thinking it's a little move then clever, but what do I know?  He went on to say:

"Wow: There is something touching about the way Steve Jobs managed to bring the same sense of wonderment to death as he did to life"

Now we're talking!  We get this since of wonderment and also learned of this wonderful way to go from his biological sister, Mona Simpson.  She was present at his passing and gave the eulogy.  According to Fox News and The Associated Press, Simpson remembered his final moment, with Jobs glancing toward his family. 
Before embarking, he’d looked at his sister Patty, then for a long time at his children, then at his life’s partner, Laurene, and then over their shoulders past them,” she recalled. “Steve’s final words were, Oh wow. Oh wow. Oh wow.

So for all of us who've lost someone near and dear, "Oh Wow, oh wow, oh wow" carries a serious implication and significant ray of hope.  

For the skeptics who've given up, this is simply the body shutting down and the brain randomly firing and it must be sheer coincidence that he would say those specific words at that specific time.

Skeptics, I suppose you have a case.  I often wonder about it myself.  What if this really is all there is?  Even now, I have enough feathers to reconstruct a bird sanctuary and I still question.  Why?  Because we are human.  We have it in our nature.  
True believers and Christians, I say to you now, if you're not willing to accept that it's normal and human to question the existence of God and the afterlife, I tell you that you are hypocrites and diminishing the very sacrifice Jesus made.  
There can be no faith with out doubt.
"Because you have seen me you have believed.  Blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed."  Jesus Christ.  John 20:29
Let's turn to Wayne Dyer for a second too.  In his book, The Power of Intention, Wayne lists off the last words of people he's long admired.

Allow me to share a few:

"Ram, Ram, Ram" -Gandhi

"It is very beautiful over there." -Thomas Edison

"I am going to that country which I have all my life wished to see."  -William Blake

Which brings me to some of the final words of my mother.  Prior to her passing, I started noting the things she was saying.  Now, more than ever is an excellent time to share them...

"I want you to be cautious and careful of our world.

"I want to go home."  She said that a few times.

She told my Grandmother, "I have a secret.  I've been there once.  But I didn't know what to do, so I came back."

One night, about four days before she passed, she nearly shot up in her bed  and said, "Harry?!?!"  That was my Grandfather on my father's side.  "Bring my mom and dad here."  She ordered.  Moments later she say's, "I have to get up and get dressed."

Some day, I'll put all of the notes of those weeks on here, but for now, just know this...

Skeptics, you're choosing to be skeptical because you're still pissed off over the Santa Clause incident.  It's safer for you not to believe and I'd like to invite you to start looking around your world and start wondering in the marvel of life and your infinite nature.  
So to bring this whole thing around full circle, I will quote Steve Jobs from the commencement address at the top.

"Stay hungry.  Stay Foolish."

Monday, October 31, 2011

Some have an evening star...

Tonight I have an evening feather.


I was on the road quite early this morning, traveling into the dark greyish morning sky just before sunset. I was on my way to an early morning 12 step meeting. Knowing that it was All Hallows Eve, I spent some time chatting with Roberta. Asking her questions, making some amends as well, asking her favors, of course! And then, how coincidental is this, I rarely visit Roberta's grave, but today, my life's journey literally took me by the cemetery, so, of course, I stopped. As I stood at her grave, I reflected back on my early morning conversation and started to laugh and said out loud, "You know, for all the times I have visited your grave, there's never been a feather here." The words were hardly out of my mouth and right there on the grass next to the top left corner of her marker was this little feather. Then a train whistle sounded TWICE!! So what do you think? Thanks to all my loved ones who continue to watch out for me. Boo! Trick or treat! And, Dad, I wish I had a set of stairs I could block with a wet paint sign just to honor you and everything about you! The things I understand now, but perhaps then, didn't, and the things I still don't get!!

Sunday, October 2, 2011

Thank you cousin Liz!

Thank you so much for this. I keep forgetting to say thank you.

I love when feathers show up in ways that were completely unexpected and with attached wisom is like a bonus prize!

Goes just perfect next to this globe. Thanks again.

Tuesday, September 27, 2011

Thursday, September 15, 2011

Our Gate... A daily reminder to drive careful.

Only a mother would do this...

See, as you get closer...

Something comes into view...

Just a simple reminder...

To be careful out there amongst the English.

Thanks mom!

Wednesday, September 14, 2011

Early. Before Work.

not alone today... as I took this one a train whistle fired off WAY in the distance...

Another one, right in the way too...

FWD: Hey! I was just walked outside and this was staring at me.

"Hey! I was just walked outside and this was staring at me. I don't think I have ever told you this...  I didn't know your mom well but I was so blessed to spend time with her while grandpa was dying. She was so wonderful and warm and just exuded kindness and acceptance.  I will never forget your mom and I think of her often. I feel so honored to receive feathers from her from time to time..."

From Liz.

Saturday, June 18, 2011

Quill anyone?

Quill anyone?

And there it was...

Right where I parked...

ANNIVERSARY TIME by Vernon R Bradley

I've been struggling lately, a lot, with loneliness and sadness.  It seems to catch up to me, almost without fail, every year from March to June, the final months of Roberta's life.  But I was conscious of it this year, and dear dear friends kept me anything but lonely.  But then this week, one of my dearest friends "disappeared" on vacation.  How dare anyone go on vacation especially when he or she is my dear friend!
The loneliness and ache flooded my heart, my soul, and eventually my stomach.  It has been a long time since I have had a stomach ache from stress and anxiety, but there it was.  

I do not sit back anymore and just let life happen, so I began to meditate each and every day.  What in the heck is this intense loneliness about?  What is the emptiness I am feeling in the pit of my stomach?

The more I meditated, the more I opened myself up to the emotions, the more I cried, no sobbed, and the more clarity seemed to bubble up and soothe me.  I began to wonder if the emptiness was not really emptiness, but a place deep in my soul that many of us avoid, including myself, because it is too challenging to explore.
I have always believed that ultimately, no one will ever fulfill us, that ultimately only Love with the big L can fulfill us.  But I never had such a moment of truth as this past week.  Perhaps I have never addressed my own attachment wounds and invited healing by allowing myself to become really attached to a dear friend.  And now that she was physically "gone," the ache was enormous.  But a perfect opportunity for me to at least dabble in my own existential meanderings.
So I sat on the bed, early Friday morning, meditating, writing the poem printed below.  I walked five miles that same morning, continuing to meditate as I walked.  I intended to stop at a half way point to attend a morning twelve step meeting  at my favorite little church.
Just as I was considering to take in my discovery, that yes, this existential notion even applies to me, that only God can fill me up, there in front of me on the road was this feather.

The significance has to do with the day before being the anniversary of Roberta asked for a feather, just a few days before she died.  I posted on facebook a reminder about the day and invited everyone to look for their feather in the coming days.

AND TODAY  is the anniversary of Roberta leaving us physically thirteen years ago.  She left us somewhere between 11:15 a. m. and 11:30 a. m.  It brings a wave of sadness and tears just thinking about it.
So for me the feather was a definite sign, and finally after many days of separation, my dear friend was able to phone me later on in the day, so yet another "feather."

ENJOY THE POEM.  Tell me what you think.  I am not quick to give my life over to God.  God is too intangible, and I'd rather hold on to control of my life and would rather love someone I can touch and feel.  But since becoming sober last September and "working" the twelve steps, I have been talking to God a great deal and taking the chance of giving my life, my will, and my heart over to God's care.  It has kept me not only sober, but I find myself loving in ways I have never loved before.

It seemed that love had abandoned me.
It seemed emptiness had invaded my heart.
I sat perched high upon the mountain top,
Day after day,
Searching the shimmering horizon
For even a glimpse of love.

Then early this morning,
A very tall person approached me.
With warmth and reassurance,
He whispered,
“Let me take you home.”

Little did I know
It was myself,
The part of me that knows
The emptiness is not emptiness.
It’s only room,
A large infinite space,
Spreading across the vastness of my soul,
Reserved for infinite Love
Who also waits,
Waits for me to stop
Waits for me to whisper,
“Come in, Love.”

This tall person
Has continued to come and go
In and out of my life.
I sometimes am desperate to hang on to him.
At times,
He seems elusive,
Much like sobriety was for so many years.
But today
I went home with him.
And when I returned home,
There you were, Love.
Your smile
Your heart
Your soul,
Waiting for me.

And the tall guy whispered,
Rather than emptiness,
Yearning to be filled,
You are filled with Infinite Love,
A precious gift for all your relationships!”

I don't know what part you played in this inspiration, Roberta,
but I humbly thank you for loving me all these years, both while you were here and now.
I am learning what it is to live a life of genuine tangible unconditional self less love
And to live in my soul as well as my body
Happy Day, Love

Friday, April 8, 2011

Good Evening Mr. Bradley!

This was under the Big Pine Tree at the park where I do my workouts in the evening.  I hardly ever see feathers in this part of the park so I take it as just a little "hello!"

Sunday, March 13, 2011

Joseph Tobin: A One In A Million Man

 Joseph Tobin: A One In A Million Man

The link above is for and about my friend Joseph Tobin.  He passed away in January.  This Hub is a tribute to him, his music and the impact he had on so many.  Thanks in advance for taking the time to honor him by reading the hub...

Long Time No See

Long time no see... looks like I'm in the right place again.

Sunday, January 23, 2011

Shoe Feather Part Two...

The moral of the story came to me shortly after:

"Well, I wanted to add something to my story.

It isn't hard to believe in the feathers or from whom they come.  Of course, it is amazing still each and everyone; but the unbelievable part is the circumstances of each feather connection.  Just at the right look out the window. just at the right moment you walk out the front door, just at the right moment... the orchestration is wild and mind boggling.  I have helped Mackenzie wash her hands on a Friday night for 3 years now.  Never ever, ever has she asked me not to look while she washed her hands; and never have I sat down on a closed lid toilet seat while she washed her hands and had I not..... I never would have looked down and seen my birthday feather. 


Shoe Feather

This showed up in my email from my aunt Marianne...

"I have received feathers from Roberta for years.  I have saved all of them.  At different times I will come across them in my glove compartment, kitchen drawers, vases, dresser drawers.  There is a story behind each one, some that I remember and some that I do not.  But what I do know is that each feather is a message of love from Roberta, usually telling us that she is praying for us and that everything is okay even when it looks like things are not.  Tonight while babysitting my grand kids, little Mackenzie asked me to follow her to the bathroom to wash her hands.  Upon arriving in the bathroom she requested that I not watch her as she washed her hands.  I said okay and decided to put down the toilet seat and sit down.  I was tired.  As I rested I was naturally looking down and saw what I thought was a piece of food that had dropped on my boot and figured it had happened while making lasagna earlier that evening.  I went to wipe it off and lo and behold it was a feather.  How could this be?  Where was this from?  And how had it clung to my boot?  I  immediately thought of Roberta and since my birthday was last Wednesday I thought this must be a belated happy birthday.   Thanks Roberta.  I love you too!  And miss you very much!  xoxoxo"

Wednesday, January 12, 2011

American Beauty Moment at Coco's

No I didn't find a feather on my table at Coco's, but this feather did swirl around me in some kind of invisible dust devil and then fly in the door after me while I walked in.

Support from above and encouragement in the face of certain change and a reminder rolls through my subconscious to ride the whirlwind.

Monday, January 10, 2011

Feather on his head

This from my cousin Autumn out there in Texas.

"So it's 27 degrees here, snowy and our heater stopped working last night! So it is cold in the house and I have been worried about Noah! This morning I was nursing him praying he was warm enough and I moved something and this feather flew up and landed on his head!"

A mother's love is everywhere at once, I love it!  For those of you stumbling on this, take a moment right now to just allow yourself to feel as safe, secure and loved as this precious child in the picture.  See what that feeling does for the rest of you day.  

The feeling of being deeply loved, watched over, and cared for is one of the greatest feelings we can have and know.  Connecting with God and those who have gone before us is your ticket to having this feeling all the time regardless of what is happening to you in this life.  When you recognize the infinite nature of things...  well this does call for a Bogart line, doesn't it?

"I'm no good at being noble, but it doesn't take much to see that the problems of three little people don't amount to a hill of beans in this crazy world."

And there you have it from the man himself.  That is from the end of Casablanca.  And so it goes with staying connected to what Wayne Dyer calls Intention and Buzz Light Year calls Infinity and Beyond!

Sunday, January 9, 2011